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In the Contract/Oath below, you must adhere to all guidelines and procedures in a strict fashion. When the document refers to the Bachelorette, she will be signified as "Queen B" and the girls consisting of the Bachelorette party as "Divas."

Please take the following document as serious (seriously funny) as possible since it will provide hours of fun and memories.

I _____________________ solemnly swear that on the weekend of __________________, 2009 in celebration of ___________________'s Bachelorette party, I will abide by the following rules and regulations:

  1. There will be, in no way, pictures with boys, men, or any animals while the Bachelorette party is in progress. Failure to follow this rule will automatically make you lose your Diva status for the weekend.
  2. You will consume alcoholic beverages and promote drunkenly misconduct in the safest and most appropriate fashion. If you are a sober driver or have a note from a doctor, you are excused from drinking but you must still promote animalistic behavior.
  3. You must never leave a single Diva or the Queen Bee unattended, due to boys-men who are termed as Vultures, Sharks, Pigs, Mars, Tools for Procreation etc.
  4. A Diva who has too much alcohol or has poor taste and is speaking with sleazy unattractive boys/men for more than one minute must be escorted back to the Diva Layer for protection and to save herself from embarrassment (which would have possibly occurred the following morning).
  5. Embarrassing the Bachelorette at least once per hour is mandatory. Embarrassment can only take the form of attracting attention toward the Queen B, and includes but is not limited to, finding Boys or Men (prey) to help in satisfying the "Bachelorette checklist" or Suck 4 Buck T-Shirt, waving adult party favor items in front of the Queen B, dressing the Queen B up in ridiculous outfits that Aunt Edna wouldn't even wear, and keeping the Queen B up as late as possible!
  6. Loud, obnoxious outbursts are welcome during the Bachelorette festivities with at least one type of alcohol shot purchased by the Divas for Queen B consumption.
  7. Dancing is required by you and it is important to make sure all Divas and Queen B are participating.
  8. In case of the emergency of a Diva needing to pray to the porcelain goddess or visit Mr. Tidy Bowl Man, it is essential that you make sure one Diva goes with the other Diva In Need (DIN).
  9. It is your responsibility to commute to a more exciting atmosphere when Queen B and/or Diva energy is dwindling. You must interact with other Divas to form a plan in moving to a more exciting environment.
  10. You will not, at any time, think of work-related matters. If work does consume your mind, you will forfeit Diva status and be seen as an outcast by the Divas.
  11. Before signing the document below, I will say out loud, "What happens at _______________'s Bachelorette party STAYS at _________________'s Bachelorette party!"

(Signature of Diva)____________________________________________ Date__________________

(Signature of Diva In Charge)___________________________________ Date__________________

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